A True Story, by Lolo (Blue Nose Staffy, Age 4, Professional Good Girl)
My name is Lolo, and I am going to tell you about the greatest Tuesday of my entire life.
It started when the power went out. My humans panicked. I panicked too, but only because the treat dispenser went dark. Then my dad pulled out the Anker SOLIX C1000 Gen 2 Portable Power Station and the whole house lit back up like a Christmas tree. I did a full zoomie lap in celebration. The Anker kept everything running…phones, laptops, the router, and most importantly, the fan that blows directly onto my belly. A true hero. Not as heroic as me, but close.
With power restored, my mom decided to make waffles on her Bella Snack-n-Store Mini Waffle Maker (cute little thing, criminal that it’s not for dogs). The smell was UNREAL. I sat beside that counter with my most pitiful eyes for twenty-two minutes. I got zero waffles. I got one pat on the head. I am still processing this emotionally.
Just when I thought the day couldn’t get better, a package arrived. I could smell it through the cardboard. My tail already knew. Inside were my new Molantaule Squeaky Dog Toys. I destroyed the packaging myself (that’s called helping) and within four seconds the duck was squeaking and I was sprinting through the kitchen, the hallway, the living room, back through the kitchen, and into my dad’s legs. He spilled his coffee. Worth it.
By afternoon, my humans announced a road trip. I lost my MIND. Within minutes, dad had loaded the Coleman Snap N Go 35qt Collapsible Hard Cooler with drinks and snacks. Again, none for me, which I am noting for the record and we were off. I had my head out the window for four consecutive hours. I saw seventeen birds, two squirrels, and one very suspicious plastic bag. I barked at all of them. You’re welcome.
We came home to the smell of banana bread. Mom had been testing her GuanQiao Silicone Bowl Liners for her KitchenAid Mixer (keeps the batter in the bowl, keeps the crumbs on the floor, works great for everyone) and the kitchen floor was, and I am not exaggerating, absolutely covered in opportunity. I cleaned every square inch. Thoroughly. Professionally.
By bedtime I was full, tired, and deeply satisfied. The power stayed on. The cooler kept the drinks cold. The toys were sufficiently destroyed. The waffles remained, unjustly, out of reach.
I give this Tuesday five paws out of five.
— Lolo 🐾
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